


Interruptions

by UchidaKarasu



Series: Martydom and Paradox 'verse [4]
Category: Death Note, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 02:31:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchidaKarasu/pseuds/UchidaKarasu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LxHarry.  Every single time Harry and L are having some of their more...intimate moments, they are interrupted by a snickering shinigami with a bad addiction to apples. [UchidaKarasu]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interruptions

**Author's Note:**

> Dedication to [Sociially-Diisoriiented](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/884158/Sociially-Diisoriiented). Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Part of the migration from LJ/FFdotNet to AO3 and edited to my 2013 standards by yours truly.

  
**Interruptions  
** _UchidaKarasu_   


 

Harry kissed down L's neck, and the detective shuddered under the attention.

Harry's lips trailed downwards, nipping at L's clavicle and eventually kissing every inch of skin of L's chest while L just tried to even out his breathing through the rage of arousal. His hands buried in Harry's hair, his pale fingers in stark contrast to the deep brown strands. He tried once to pull Harry's head upwards, a small whine sounding in the hotel room they were in, but the wizard wasn't having it, snickering lightly under his breath in-between kisses. He teasingly dipped his tongue in L's navel, making the detective shiver in response, and then he was pressing hot, open mouthed kisses to L's hipbones.

One finger suddenly trailed up L's hardness, and he bucked his hips from the stimulation, desperate for some pressure to alleviate the aching arousal. He could feel Harry's hot breath around him, and he murmured something that L couldn't understand over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears.

And then the devil decided to join in.

"As wanky as this is, I figure I probably should intervene."

By the end of the first syllable, Harry had already shot of two spells, both of which were useless against Ryuk and instead caused two craters in the wall to the washroom. The plumbing made a terrible groaning noise, and water began spraying out of twisted pipes. Harry was up in a blast, shooting the shinigami a venomous look as he quickly repaired the damage done by his magic before the entire hotel was alerted by the fact that the water didn't work. L himself tried to hide off a blush as he threw a sheet over his naked body, the mood completely gone.

"What in the _fuck_ is this about, you imbecile?" Harry bellowed when he was finished with his repairs. "Couldn't you be a bit more tactful and wait until _after_ we were finished? You really are a sneaky, snivelling, perverted _bastard_ and you're lucky I don't find some way to have to annihilated from the face of this _Earth_!"

Ryuk didn't seem very interested. "Right, whatever, you don't like me and you two are boring as hell. Give me an apple and I'll tell you a secret."

Harry exploded. Yelling obscenities and flinging out relatively harmless magic, he stomped around and caused havoc. The ceilings turned different colours, the chairs in the room transformed into suits of armour that began battling to the death, the walls changed into nets of ivy, and every bit of paperwork in the room began flying wildly as a strong wind upset the equilibrium. L grasped his sheet with sturdy fingers, making sure it wasn't going to fly away and leave him bare for the shinigami to see.

Again. This wasn't the first time Ryuk had interrupted during their more _intimate_ moments. In fact, Ryuk had never, not once, came into their lives unless they _were_ in compromised positions, so Harry's rage was perhaps warranted. L was more embarrassed than anything, but no one would've guessed it by looking at him. Three decades of learning how to control facial expressions was definitely in his favour.

Eventually Harry calmed down enough to leave the bedroom, grumbling angrily the entire time. He came back a few seconds later from the kitchen and threw three apples _hard_ at Ryuk's head, not that it made any difference. Ryuk caught them and scarfed down two, taking his time with the last and eating the core almost delicately. When he had smacked his lips in glee, he said, "A shinigami in the Realm has decided that life is boring there, always gambling and wasting time, and asked me about the story about Raito."

L blinked slowly. "What does this have to do with us?"

Ryuk snickered. "Well, normally I wouldn't even bring it up...but he had a spare Death Note."

"What?" Harry exclaimed, while L just pondered. That wasn't good, _at all_. They had to intervene before they had another Kira on their hands.

"Do you believe he'll drop it here on Earth?" asked L, staying calm unlike Harry.

"Eh, not sure," Ryuk said dismissively. "I did tell him that you two won, and that now my life is even _more_ boring now. He wasn't very pleased about that, for obvious reasons."

"Obvious reasons?" asked L.

Ryuk gave L a wide, diabolical grin and said, "Oh, you know..." Then, without waiting for Harry to shoot of a pissy remark, he continued, "Regardless, you should probably stay away from him. I can follow him around if you'd like, but if he dropped a Death Note, it would be... _fun_."

Ryuk was hiding something, but getting him to spill his secret was like getting Harry to admit that Severus Snape was Harry's favourite person or getting L to eat steak every day until he died. Or like both of them converting to Catholicism and praising God the Almighty while committing mass murder of children.

There were ways to bribe him though... "If we can get you as many apples as you could eat every day until the world ends, would you be willing to make sure this doesn't happen?" asked L, deadly serious.

Ryuk's eyes got so wide L wondered if they would pop out of the sockets. He supposed it didn't matter, since Ryuk was dead-ish, but it was a morbid thought to entertain regardless. "You _know_ ," Ryuk replied slyly, "I'd be totally okay with this. But how would you _do_ it? You will die eventually, and so will that bastard over there. Mind, his date is much longer than yours, but still."

That was an uncomfortable reminder of how Harry would live much longer than L would. They had talked about it for a while, after they had spent a year in some sort-of honeymoon phase after the Kira case had ended. Harry was a wizard, and by average most witches and wizards lived to be around one-hundred-seventy-years-old. L would be lucky to live past _seventy_ , considering his diet and his lifestyle. It was simple fact, and while Harry and Hermione consistently tried to find ways to manoeuvre around this, L had come to terms with it. He was a normal human being, and while living forever with Harry by his side was an agreeable thought, he just didn't believe it was possible since the Philosopher's Stone had been destroyed.

He had come to terms with it, because getting his hopes up about something like that was more than likely going to set him up for disappointment. Harry was a relentless, stubborn man though, and Hermione wasn't much better when it came to Harry being happy. If it could be done, they would find a way, but he wasn't going to hope for it.

He answered, "I can arrange for all of my heirs over the years to supply a room at the House to be filled with fresh apples every year. Since they are aware of the shinigami presence in the world, they would be willing to oblige to make sure that Kira does not make another appearance. If you go back on this deal, and Kira comes back, you won't have another apple except the dry, sandy ones in your Realm. Do we have an agreement?"

Ryuk laughed, louder than Harry's racket from before. It echoed in his brain, it was so loud, and L was thankful for the magical soundproofing of the room even more than before.

"You have yourself a deal, boytoy." Harry made an angry exclamation at Ryuk's nickname for the detective, but L had come to terms with _that_ too after years of being called that. It could've been worse, he supposed, and L was thirty-six. He was past being irritated about it. "Get it done, and I'll make sure that you'll have his spare notebook in your hands as soon as he looks away."

L grabbed a cell phone from the end table and made the phone calls, and thirty minutes later Ryuk left, happy as a clam and hopefully in agreement with the deal. There was no telling with him, but since apples were like amphetamines to the irritating shinigami, perhaps he would heed the warning.

It took Harry nearly two hours to calm down enough to stop the transfigured suits of armour fighting.

They kept the purple ceiling and the walls of ivy though. L sort-of liked it.

***

Two months later, Ryuk came in on them when Harry was just starting to push inside L deliciously.

He laughed and threw the confiscated Death Note right at Harry's furious face.


End file.
